You are not alone
Had a wonderful talk with some friends this weekend who were feeling the lonely bug and going through the motions. We have all been there. Especially after we lose the support system when a best friend moves, we move to a new place, or you break off a romantical relationship. All of these things lead us to being by ourselves in this moment.
But it is oh so important to remember that you are always deserving of love, happiness, appreciation, and the attention of others. Your current situation in life is not a reflection on your self-worth. You are worthy and deserving of so many wonderful things. People are lucky to have your presences in their lives. Being single and being alone is just a part of life. And it is not bad and it does not mean anything. People have their own lives to pursue and sometimes their own issues that they need to work through. That’s not on you. Alone will happen. Learning to be comfortable in these moments is soooooo important to finding that key to being your best Happy For No Good Reason self.
Being a little lost
Being alone also sometimes means being untethered, and experiencing total freedom. Which can terrifying and invigorating at the same time. Having freedom is a wonderful feeling but this can also lead to a feeling of being lost while you struggle to make the right decisions for your next steps. We choose to embrace the feeling of being lost because it gives you time to reaffirm your values, priorities, and reinvent yourself. People that are never lost may be doomed to having the same unfulfilling job or situation. But making the right decision, taking the right step for you is a misnomer. There is no right or perfect decision. There is no perfect time to make it- there is just now, just this moment. Unless your decision is related to brain surgery there is a good chance that you can undecided something and switch directions later if you don’t love where you end up.
And we know sometimes it is easy to stall to make a decision but any choice is better than no choice. Even if you move in a direction that you don’t love, now you know that and you can keep on trucking. At the end of the day make a decision to follow your heart and make decision to be happy. After that it is all gravy.
Respect the time
Regardless of the reason you find yourself alone remember to be kind to yourself, and respect the time that it takes to make new friends and be comfortable in this new you. Remember that it is not a reflection on self-worth and that this situation is only temporary. You are awesome.
You are and will always be your best friend and your number one advocate. And we have to step out of our comfort zone to make a real change in our lives. These changes come in really two forms. External and internal. External is everything outside of ourselves, and internal is changes to ourselves where we make choices to change our own habits and beliefs.
External Changes: Experience your world
Friends and family
As humans it is programmed into our DNA to want to be social creatures. Social creature does not mean necessarily mean romantic though. If you are in a new place this one maybe harder- but not impossible. Take time to talk and skype it out with the people that are near and dear to you. If you have good friends and family in your area take time to really make playdates with them. It is alright if you have to plan it out a little in advance- it will give you something to look forward too. Also take time to appreciate those that make your life great. We like to send out letters of appreciation (listing all the reasons they rock our socks off) to our friends and family just to remind them that they are special to us!
Get out of the house
If there is a new movie out or a new restaurant you want to try, you do not have to wait for someone else- take yourself out on the town. Go to the park, take a hike. It doesn’t matter what you do just get out of the house and give Netflix a breather. Also look into local clubs, meetups, and groups with people that share common interests. Join a photography group, or a running group, or a running photography group. And always remember that there are 1000 volunteering opportunities that have kind hearted people for days. We have made some of the most amazing connections and had some amazing experiences from taking the time to volunteer. The more opportunities that you give yourself to meet other people the more opportunities you will have to make new friends. That makes sense.
Internal Changes- focusing on yourself
You are perfect just the way you are. But if you want to make a change than now is a perfect time to do it. Really embrace this time and you will learn so much about yourself. Set new goals to pursue new hobbies, and take time to do the things that they was never time to do. Read a book, go on a hike, build a desk, learn to sow, study a new language- the options are limitless. We know social media and television have their places but put them out of reach for right now. This is your time to live in the moment and to do something you enjoy. Traveling is also something that many people find rejuvenates them. Sometimes it is necessary to just get out of dodge. Embrace your you whatever that means!
The cornerstones of a happy life stem from good sleeping habits (getting up and going to sleep at the same times getting your 8 hours!), proper nutrition, and routine exercise. If your body is too tired or cannot otherwise sustain your energy than it is hard to make changes or chase down dreams! Also, if you are rested and properly fed your confidence will be higher. Take time to learn about eating right, and work some workouts into your week. It will also give you something to look forward too!
You deserve so many wonderful things and so many stupendous relationships. And you have the power to make your life and everyone else’s that you come in contact with amazing. Take time to step out of your comfort zone, make new friends, and to take time to learn about yourself.